Transitioning into the New Year

Back in August, I wrote about the two questions I ask myself during times of transition. As 2017 comes to a close, and we prepare to welcome in a new year, I want to once again revisit those questions.

  1. What are you taking with you into 2018?

  2. What are you leaving behind?

2017 was perhaps the best, and most difficult, year of my life so far. Traveling around the world is an experience that truly is magical and beyond words.

New Year Transitions

What is almost more difficult to describe is what it feels like to return “home” after long-term travel. It’s been 5 months. I’ve been back more than half as long as I was away.

And you know what? It’s still hard. Every. Single. Day. I miss traveling. I miss Thailand. I dream about moving back to Australia. I sit and wonder what if, what if, what if?

What if I hadn’t lost my job?

What if I hadn’t come back?

What if I hadn’t fallen in love?

What if I hadn’t been afraid?

My heart hurts. I cry often. I feel like I’m in mourning.

Following other inspirational travelers on Instagram doesn’t help (Wandering Wilsons, I’m looking at you in particular…and living vicariously through all of your posts and stories).

One of my dear friends likened the return from travel to the feeling of a come down. Whether that be post-drinking, drugs, partying or after an incredibly wonderful experience (a trip, a wedding, a concert).

I imagine you know the feeling. Of sadness. Like something was taken from you. Like some part of you is missing. Like heartbreak.

I’m fucking sad. And it’s fucking hard. It’s still hard.

And I’m frustrated with myself for struggling. I’m frustrated with myself for not just BEING HAPPY.

I feel conflicted with what I’m currently doing in my life and where I wish I was. I know I’ll travel again. I know I’ll get back into the world and give back – physically (to the land), spiritually (through yoga), and emotionally (with love).

And when I read that I recognize that those ways of giving back are still possible in my current location.

I am teaching yoga. I am giving so much love, to my friends and family who are now so close to me. Working on the land and finding a community…works in progress.

So what am I taking with me into the New Year?

  • Forever friendships near and far.
  • A job I’m excited about.
  • A newfound potential community in the Shambhala Center.
  • A beautiful relationship.
  • A focus on my next journey (Coming Fall 2018).
  • This little blog.
  • Love. So much freaking love.

And what am I leaving behind?

  • The trip of a lifetime (…I suppose my lifetime thus far).
  • Fear that I couldn’t make it traveling solo.
  • People, places, opportunities. The choices that I didn’t make.

Maybe I can leave behind this sadness. The fear I made a decision that will result in the biggest regret of my life.

While I fully believe in feeling your feelings and honoring what is, I want to place some sort of limit on my mourning.

So while I do have a list of resolutions/things I’d like to accomplish in 2018, perhaps the one, true thing I really want is to turn my mourning of a trip ended too soon into gratitude that it existed, and drive to make it happen again.

Sometimes I feel like articles pop into my inbox at exactly the right moment. This post on 25 ways to bring adventure and zest to life as it is today has (surprise!) 25 things you can do right where you are when you’re feeling FOMO about all of the wonderful adventures everyone else seems to be having.

I move forward into 2018 with these ideas in mind. I move forward by continuing to try to trust in the Universe.

New Year Transitions

I got this tattoo right after I moved back to the States. It’s in Sanskrit, one of the five Niyamas, which make up the second of the Eight Limbs of Yoga.

Isvara pranidhana, “I surrender to the Universe.”

[Or, “I surrender to God,” which in Hindu beliefs is essentially one in the same.]

So here I am. With a few days left of 2017. Trying to surrender to what is. Trying to appreciate where I’ve been. And look forward towards what I know will be more wonderful things to come.

Another article about the post-travel struggles landed in my inbox today, and these words ring so true:

The thought of returning to being “the old you” doesn’t even seem possible, because it’s not. So, embrace the resurrection and keep defining and bettering yourself every day. 

New Year Transitions

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Comments

  • Sian

    December 27, 2017 at 11:48 AM
    Reply

    Thanks for sharing your journey with us. I do hope you get to travel again soon. I'm taking hope, momentum and blossoming health into 2018 […] Read MoreThanks for sharing your journey with us. I do hope you get to travel again soon. I'm taking hope, momentum and blossoming health into 2018 and leaving behind frustration and inertia. I hope 2018 brings everything you wish for! Read Less

    • Rose
      to Sian

      December 27, 2017 at 2:04 PM
      Reply

      Thanks Sian! Wishing you the best in 2018 as well!

  • Kim Miller

    December 27, 2017 at 11:43 AM
    Reply

    It sounds like you have a handle on the new year.

  • JEN @ JENRON DESIGNS

    December 27, 2017 at 11:12 AM
    Reply

    THIS IS A POWERFUL POST, IT SHOWS YOUR STRENGTH AND CORAGE TO FACE THE UNKNOWN. SOMETIMES WE ALL NEED A DEFINING END CHAPTER SO WE […] Read MoreTHIS IS A POWERFUL POST, IT SHOWS YOUR STRENGTH AND CORAGE TO FACE THE UNKNOWN. SOMETIMES WE ALL NEED A DEFINING END CHAPTER SO WE CAN BEGIN A NEW ONE. Read Less

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About Me
Hi, I’m Rose! An ex-corporate girl-turned yoga teacher on a journey to find greater purpose in life. I love mindfulness, community, and travel, and I’m always looking for the next adventure. I’m here to help you live your best life by offering resources for intentional living, community building and sustainability.
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